Thursday, January 28, 2010

From the Mouths of Babes.

At the Library recently there was a little girl in front of me in line checking out some videos with her dad.

"This is my second time seeing White Fang!" she exclaimed.

"Wow!" I said. "I bet you'll learning something new each time you see it!".

She smiled and said, "You're like my dad; he said the same thing".

Dad and I looked at each and exchanged smiles.

"Kind of like life, huh?" I said. "Learning something new every day, An adventure!"

I saw the back of her long blond locks as they turned to leave, and with that sweet little voice of promise, she exclaimed back to me, "Have a great adventure today!"

There was nothing like it.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Wind in my branches.

The wind has been furious these past few days. Its sound and movement truly frightens me, it always has. Branches are falling all around me, and then being wisked away with all sorts of other debris and soil, and the walls are creaking. Man, the whole thing is creepy.

This morning, we had no caf - coffee. Not my perfect scenario, but I took my cup 'o low-test and headed back under the covers, and with the shades pulled up I stared through the dewy window pane from my downright position, I began to think about the trees - does it hurt them, all that movement? When they lose their branches, do they feel any sort of -- anything?

The decaf was kicking in and I began to ponder life, and its movement. The breezy and sometimes harsh way it drifts and moves me, shakes me. Sometimes like a bay breeze, and sometimes like a hurricane. Sometimes leaving me stripped of all I've known, and sometimes letting me keep a little bud or two. Just like those trees outside (whether they know or feel a thing), with branches and even sometimes the trunk moving to and fro, I'm always rooted. Always. Let me say it again - I AM ALWAYS ROOTED. Not that I realize this truth as often as I'd like, but when I do, it truly shatters me in the best way.

With all the movement happening in & around me, and in all the storms that rumble up through my belly and release out into the world, I can never be without my roots. Life hurts a lot, truly, and sometimes I have no idea what direction is THE direction, or Why I am the way I am, and why others are the way they are, or Why the world is what it is, and why I should trust the purpose and interconnectedness of everything, and what exactly IS the purpose? (I honestly think if I was caffeinated, I would be way too jacked up to think this pensively at 8am).

It's still really windy out there, but as I sit and share this marvel with you I can almost envision jumping up and into that windy force and going for a sweet little ride. For just this moment I can do that and I can remember home, my roots, my sense of grounding. Not so scary. So I'm off to sail with the wind in my branches, all the way around this wild place. Definitely stopping at the market on the way back, for real coffee of course. (there's just so much thinking a girl can do).

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Faithfully unexpecting.

My friend Jennifer shared something with me back in Sept and it will never ever ever leave my heart:" Maybe it's time to dust off the dream" (perhaps not the precise wording but you get the vibe). So It's the first week of the new year of a new decade and I've been reflecting on all the dreams and ideas and visions I've had in my life up until now. There are ALOT and I feel like a bit of a slacker (I'll only allow that feeling for a minute or so). I think I have been on the periphery of my own life. WOW. Let me scream it from the mountaintops - I have been on the periphery of my own life!! OK, not a bad thing to realize at all. So what to do, what do to. Hmm. Well, the truth of it is I am BEYOND grateful for my journey, for my choices, for my years, for everything. I'm 40 something (yes, I am) and I feel free from the expectation I was married to (more like shackled to) in my younger years. I can choose new paths (or old ideas I want to dust off) and jump into life in 2010 with the skills, expertise, networks, faith and confidence of right now. I'm moving in and through the much-lighter muck of my "Adventures-in-Not-Knowing", with alot more happiness and motivation in the pursuit. My knapsack is filled with faith and the road is welcoming. I do need a new pair of walking shoes, though. There will be many miles traveled on this year's road.