It's my worst nightmare, literally. I am quite clear that I would never ever ever go again. It's just too overwhelming for me, too many people, too much hustle 'n bustle. Too expensive. Too smelly. Actually, the thought of it makes me itch.
Ironically, just the other night we were watching Nurse Jackie, the episode where she describes rehab as Disney Land (or World, I forget). Oh, s**t, sorry for the leak. Um .... reverse spoiler alert!
I know that Disney was a way of Jackie hiding the fact that she went to rehab, but two Disney's in one week. It's a sign!
(Uggh, I feel sick. Disney queasy, like, ate a corn dog, drank Hawaiian Punch and went on the roller coaster, queasy).
OK - what if I stayed open, open to Disney? I mean, I've managed (mostly very well) so far being in an overwhelming, bustling, people-filled world. If I can handle Disney, I can handle anything really. Right? RIGHT? (help me please, where's my Kava?).
Truth is, no matter what the situation I really do know the calm happy place in me. I've been there. Sometimes I've even stayed a while. It's my responsibility to recognize when I'm getting itchy by any number of situations and go to my happy place.
Rainbows, Unicorns, Mud Pie.
Life will be overwhelming, guaranteed. Well, it CAN be overwhelming. We're people. Feeling people, caring people. As much as we may bury our heads in the sand sometimes about our own lives and the lives and circumstances around us, we feel things. I will go so far as to say that we know things, we are intuitive. There is a lot happening, in all aspects of all of our lives, all the time.
So yes, life can be overwhelming. It can be a freaky long line for a ride, or a $10 hot dog, or rehab with Nurse Jackie. But it's my choice as to how deeply I want to be involved in the disruptive and overwhelming level of things.
What a very cool discovery. Yay me! Who would have thought that sweet little friendly big-eared creatures (leading to the Worldwide Enterprise known as World / Land) would create such drama-trauma within me. And that I might find a message in it. The fact that I'm becoming this aware is kind of amazing to me. But still, even as I discover, I'm still uncomfortable. Pushing and pulling, flowing and stopping, moving through life's masses. So many people, and things, and situations, and emotions. And a full moon to boot.
Breathing. Deeply breathing ... Disney is a friendly place. Disney is a friendly place.
PS You might be able to convince me to wear one of those Minnie Mouse Ear yarmulkes but I will never ever go on the rides. I'll be sitting on a bench somewhere. But - you can trust I'll feel the ups and downs, just like you.